Fast Food, be it at McDonalds or at 300mph

Now, as a result of this post, I understand I may get at least 1 comment that faults my opinion which I have to say right now, it is the truth. This means, get over it, live with it and accept it. I speak the truth. If you believe in God, you are reading his blog post right now.

The thoughts taken directly from a good friend of mine on potentialdif.blogspot.com seem to differ from my opinion, making it clear to the audience that airline food can not at any time be described as tasty.

'Plane food', according to Chris, is to be "of a quality so poor that even a starved, malnourished African child would think twice before eating it."

Firstly, plane's are what carpenters use for sanding wood. Aeroplanes or aircraft can be used as the correct term, take your pick as I honestly don't mind. As long as you don't say 'plane'. Also, I do not fly a plane, I fly an aircraft or pilot an aircraft.

Anyway, I noticed while reading Chris' blog that he seems to think that they pump salt onto each meal by the lorry load. Unfortunately it is another flaw in his argument. Due to a long and pathetic list of Health and Safety bullshit, they cannot put salt into a meal.

If I may discuss that last point in a bit more detail. A few people can't eat salt or have salt in their food due to intolerances. It is a bit like milk, but that is as scientific as I wish to go, unless you want to challenge me with questions about how aircraft fly.

Even though it would be utterly hilarious, it would be a serious problem if someone began to fit and foam at the mouth like a slug at 32,000feet half way across the Atlantic Ocean. But to repeat what I said at the beginning of the paragraph, it would be utterly hilarious. I would possibly die laughing.

Only a few other things could excite me more than the chance to eat a tasteful selection of food at 32,000feet or so and at around 300 miles per hour. It is far more exciting than pulling up at McDonalds in a drive-thru and speaking to a spotty cabbage brain because you want a slightly off-tasting burger.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Well yes, otherwise I wouldn't have asked for a McChicken Sandwich meal you dumb shit. And before you ask, I want banana milkshake for a drink."

"Errrr, what drink would you like with your meal?"

Now, I would like to explain that by the time he said 'meal', I had already launched through the small drive-thru window and killed the guy with his own burger bun.

I personally enjoy airline food. The variety is not all that great but they do taste bliss. For example, on an outbound flight from Birmingham Airport in the morning, I would be delighted with the look, smell and taste of a hearty breakfast. Small sausages, potato cubes, beans and egg with the option of tea or coffee, with some spreadable cheese to put in a small bun with some butter.

My tastebuds are watering already, just as I am planning on hitting the deck to go to bed.

To conclude, airline food is nice and unbeatable. It is now tradition to me to have a meal on every commercial flight I am on, otherwise I kick off and end up feeling like I want to "open some fucking windows" as Samuel L. Jackson said on Snakes on a Plane.

Good night.

A sad day for shoe lovers...

This week begins with yet more doom and gloom regarding the global economic recession. It has taken victim, jobs at the Corus steel works company, as well as forcing footwear chains Barratts and PriceLess into administration.

A sad day for shoe lovers across the nation.

Will the closure of Barratts and PriceLess really upset the shoe lovers though? Well no. On a non-serious note, they can go to Clarkes shoes and buy some from there. On a serious note however, the two companies filing for administration is not the be all and end all of footwear sales in the UK.

There are still plenty of stores around and to be fair, the shoes from Barratts and PriceLess were not that great. If you didn't notice, it was why they had shoes priced at 99p instead of £40. They had you going back into the store every week for a new pair because the previous ones had fell to pieces.

If you are a really bad tight-arsed person, go shop at Primark with the chavs. They manage to seek out bargains for stuff that last for just as much as a short time as a pair of 99p PriceLess shoes. You are probably considering this option. If you are then please continue to hang your head in shame.

If you are in any kind of contact with fashion as I blatently am, then go and buy yourself some shoes from topman, topshop or even get yourself a pair of the 2009 Adidas Stan Smith GL II trainers like I have done. As you can tell, I am the height of fashion.

Current forecasts indicate we won't be out of this economy trap until the end of 2009, or the beginning of 2010 and it will quite obviously take a lot more time to fully recover.

In the mean time, don't overspend, try to avoid loans and be money-wise by saving more.

Driving in your car

Is it really true that girl's prefer teenagers with a car? I recently passed my test, but haven't had an awesome amount of luck. It has got me noticed more by girls, and yes, some girls do like me more for it, but does it really work?

Well yes. It does. Not only can I fly a multitude of aircraft, however big or fast, but I can also drive my own car quite well. I have been complimented as a very good skilled driver by those I have ferried around for a small donation.

On top of that, I have had the odd one or two girls take more notice of me, and as a result, enjoy my company more than they did when I didn't drive.

I am not one to complain about that though!

Is it something that is genetic? Do girls around your age type take notice of the few lads that drive their own cars? Are they attracted to these men like two magnets with the North Pole of one pointing to the South Pole of the other?

I think so! Some girls may already have a fixed opinion of the certain person that is driving. But being the first lad in my year that has remained in Sixth Form, to drive to school in my own car, it was not only a big achievement for me, but an achievement for sex appeal too - it shot through the roof of my Volkswagen Polo.

And I should also add that my Volkswagen Polo is an attraction for the girls. It also suits me perfectly. In addition to this, it is only 3 years old, and this means that girls think I am loaded. Well I was slightly loaded for my age, until of course, I purchased the car, the insurance and the tax.

Anyway, I do not wish this post to be just about me.

Cars are used for almost everything in life, apart from sailing and flying. I am quite certain that without a car, many people would choose to miss out on a career, and education. But on the other side of the argument, it would also mean we have a lot more money to spend on alcohol, or holidays, or clothes. Whatever floats your boat.

We have to hand it to the guy who created the car though. Alexander Bell or whoever it was. Saying that, before I get a comment telling me Alexander Bell created the telephone, I already knew.

I will have to leave it at that for today, as the weekends are the busiest for me now my exams are over. I wish death upon all examiners, invigilators and everyone else who works for any exam board or connected to one in any way.

Good day.

President Obama's Inauguration

You have to hand it to the guy, he has done really well in order to be accepted by the United States. Defeating every other Presidential Candidate to the top spot to get rid of the one person who led us into a war we cannot win, but only sit in a stalemate. The one person who ruined the global economy, just because he was leaving Office soon.

Congratulations if you just worked it out, I was on about George W. Bush. I am quite certain the W stands for Wanker. Or maybe I couldn't think of another offensive word beginning with W to use.

Anyway, this man is now a nobody. A person we won't hear much of anymore unless President Obama makes the worst decision in his life by calling up Bush to help him out with a dilemma. Don't do it, please. I did ask nicely.

America has been able to lead themselves to a new height. A height where they haven't assassinated the first black President of the USA. They have done well though, to last 3 days without making Obama duck and cover.

Could you imagine the implications of assassinating the 44th President? I could, and I will care to share my thoughts on it. If Barack was to be taken out (which is a nice alternative to saying 'assassinated') the USA would be deemed a massively racist country.

Black people would go crazy, as well as governments of the countries world-wide. Bin Laden would come out of his cave shouting and screaming, with an army of terrorists to take on a hijacked boat all of the way to the USA to murder everyone possible.

Mass world-wide terrorism and martyrism would pursue. Countries with nukes would learn how to be 'trigger happy' by firing them at countries who would be causing them even the smallest of problems.

The jews would also be quite unhappy.

I really hope, for the world's sake, that some morbidly obese, thick-skinned cabbage-brain of an American does not kill the first US black President. An attempt would be fine, as he wouldn't be dead and it would just highlight the stupidity of the citizens in the country, but the best option is to just not try at all.

I don't know why I am wasting my time telling people to not try and kill Obama, because no doubt someone is planning it already. We're in the shit if this sort of behaviour goes ahead.

But how was his first day in office I hear you shout?

Hectic. To sum up nicely into one word. I was watching the news inbetween the televised film I am watching currently, and LL Cool J said something about what he had thought about what lies in wait for President Obama.

It is like "a battleship that takes a long time to turn. Like one of those aircraft carriers, yeh an aircraft carrier that takes like a minute to turn. Yeh, one of those."

I can only help but laugh at that. I cannot insult the rapper's intelligence, because he hasn't got much of it.

US Airways Flight 1549 - Hudson River Crash

I am sure the world already knows, but if you are excluded from any society that runs any kind of news agency, I will allow time for a brief explanation of what happened. An Airbus A320 took off with 155 passengers, birds flew into the engine, the plane landed on the Hudson River, New York.

I have to give it to the pilot...not for having an amazingly strange name (Captain Chesley Sulleberger the Third), but for landing that aircraft perfectly. By perfect, I mean, without fault, textbook...just perfect. Get a dictionary if you didn't know that.

Being a pilot under training myself, I know how much pressure is placed on you during a practise forced landing, or an engine failure after take-off. They are not nice and the drills themselves drain your concentration.

Being in the heart of New York, I cannot begin to imagine the difficulty in landing that aircraft without killing at least one person, and if you think a bit more indepth you can realise the danger in the situation. If however, you have the brain of a cabbage, I'll tell you what I mean.

The aircraft was taking off, not landing. As a result, the aircraft would be carrying a lot of fuel on board. If the pilot landed on a building, or in the heart of Manhattan, it would be mass destruction, many people killed, structures knocked down, the list could go on.

Captain Sullewhatever did his job, saved every life on board and did an amazing job of it.

Anyway, if you are ever in a situation like that, don't panic. The pilot usually knows what to do and will want to also save his own life.

The Captain and the crew of that flight have been awarded Key to the City from the Mayor of New York. My hat is off to them.

That's it for now.

The Importance of 2009

As you now hopefully know, it is 2009. The exceptions to this are if you are a Hippy (then it is 1809) or Goth which would mean it is 666 BC as the two stereotypes are filled with people who are anti-social failures at life.

What does 2009 have to offer us anyway? Perhaps it will be the year when the Global Economy restarts again, like my laptop unexpectedly did last night when I wanted to go to bed. Or maybe it'll be the year when every government in the world realises we are all quite simply, in the shit.

Either way, I always think that New Years Eve ends with the worlds BIGGEST anti-climax. Everyone in London for example, standing around counting down the seconds until the new year..."5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year", and then proceeding to watch a firework show which can only be explained as a waste of money. This is especially true because of the fact that the current global economy is on a life support machine, or should I correct myself and state there is no global economy left?

The fireworks explode in the sky and I am sat at my television screen wondering what crazy man with a beard and a bad odour dreamt up this display? It was ok to immediately rule out Einstein, as he is currently dead. No shit sherlock - have a dog biscuit or something.

Then at the end of the display, what does everyone do now? Apart from the occasional sigh, they all think of how much of a good night it is.

I am sorry to ruin it for everyone, but it is 2009. Not 2012 when the Olympics comes to London, or 2010 for that matter, to celebrate the new decade as they are definately worth celebrating.

I struggle to understand why a large proportion of the global population all thought it would be a good idea to celebrate possibly one of the most pointless years on the "The Beginning to the End of the Universe Calendar". Everyone should have been at home for the start of 2009, not celebrating, but realising how difficult it is going to be in order for pretty much the world to lift themselves out of the crisis we are in...

...well all except for Zimbabwe - they seem to like being in a crisis so much that they kick off at pretty much anything they see, hear or do. They live a crisis that is kept alive by Robert Mugabe. Now that is a man I hate.

Anyway, back onto the subject of 2009. As asked, and slightly answered before, what will 2009 bring? Fuck all is what it will bring. The year means nothing except for the fact that 2008 is over. Is that all we are celebrating?

No, of course not. We seemed this year to be celebrating the fact that businesses are all closing, governments are losing money, and people are generally getting poorer (except for Mr. Tesco and Mr. Sainsbury's).

I can honestly see this year bringing nothing but another shipment or so of Coffee from the Kenco place in Kenya. On top of that, I can see many more ships get hijacked by the Sudanese pirates; and al-Qaeda launching an attack on Israel for defending their country from Hamas - something which I am a supporter of. It will most certainly not be the year that religion is proved wrong, unfortunately.

In my opinion, 2009 is going to be a pointless year which will not give us anything. I doubt it will be the year that we completely lift out of an economic crisis because it is not something we can jump out of. It will also not be the year where the answer to terrorism is found and actioned.

Basically, I recommend hibernating for the entire year and waking up on 31st December 2009 in order to celebrate the end of this pointless year, and to also celebrate the beginning of a new decade.

The Start of 2009...

Hello all...

In the summer of 2008 I had quite a popular blog named All Sorts of Nonsense. However, with my life generally getting busy and busy, I didn't have to time to type my life away with blog posts.

With the new year finally here, and the current academic exam season nearly over, I decided to create the successor to All Sorts of Nonsense:

-"An Organised Mess"

I hope to bring coverage on some of the latest news to hit the UK as well as a number of posts about anything, and everything else (unless the information is Classified).

Let me know how you found my blog and what you think of it as I post a multitude of posts. Any suggestions are definately welcome and I will try to fulfil every suggestion I get, as I want to reach every person I possibly can!

Anyway...I didn't want to dive into blogging again with an essay for an introductory post so I shall leave it here.

Happy Blogging... as I used to say rather a lot.