Spandex Ballet

Following the recent theme of sport amongst the Phenomenal Four group of bloggers, I decided to devote this post to ripped to shreds, the sport which is infact not a sport.

Wrestling is a bit like boxing in my eyes. The differences being:

1. Boxers don't use scripts
2. Boxers don't wear spandex or latex
3. Boxers don't pretend to be hard, they are hard
4. Boxing is a sport.
5. Boxers aren't gay. Try telling that to their faces.
6. Boxing is quite British.

Enough of the lists anyway. I could keep typing infinitely but it is not something I want to do. It would prefer spooning my eyes out and feeding them to my dog. That would be more fun than creating a massive list for you all to read and get bored with very quickly.

I decided that before I would type this post, I would do my research. This involved me googling a great deal of keywords about wrestling and watching a healthy number of YouTube videos which did prove Wrestling was 100% fake. I also spent the time looking at funny wrestling pictures like this...

If you do not agree with the fact that wrestling is not and sport and is also completely fake, then go to YouTube and type "fake wrestling". You get results like this...

As I am sure you are now aware, I am in touch with reality and am very technologically ahead of most people today.

Back to the topic on hand. As you can see by the video above, wrestling is very faked. The participants are simply actors who are pumped full of steroids. Not athletes as some people may call them, and they are certainly not Sportsmen or Sportswomen. They are actors.

It's about time you Wrestling fans realised this and jumped off your high horse and stared at the truth.

The reason why it is loved so much in America is because the people who live in that country are too damn stupid to realise how the kicks are near-misses, not full impacts, and that when someone flies into the air and goes over the ropes, that person induced that himself.

Like the title suggests. They are no more than ballet dancers in a spandex or latex costume. Sweating all over each other as the men lie on each other in a gay fashion. Pressing genitals into one another to see who gets the hard-on first.

These actors are probably paid as much as a top level footballer. But they are paid a lot to fake a game. It all seems to be a con to me now I come to think about it in more detail. People flock to the arena to watch the fight, probably pay US$100's to go and see it.

What do they get in return? They get to watch a real sport. They get to watch pain enter the eyes of the man who is being attacked and beaten to a pulp. NO. They get to watch gays dancing about pretending to fight.

They may aswell create another crap sport and call it American Football...because that wouldn't be copying the British with their sport called Rugby now would it? Oh no, definately not. Its like the Americans actually won World War 2 single handedly. And for anyone who thinks they did, the British did. The Americans followed us about.

I am sure a number of people would have a problem with this post. If you are one of those people, grab a knife and stick it in your eye. Then tell someone who cares because you are obviously too stupid to realise how fake and how scripted Wrestling is.

It is not a sport.

Air Racing

In my opinion, Air Racing is a sport. It involves athletes in a way, has many worldwide fans, and it is reknowned worldwide for its intensity and it requires the highest level of skill. It is right at the top of a scale of epicness, where Wrestling doesn't even feature (men pretending to hurt each other while they wear latex costumes - its a "sport" for gays.).

But what is required of the pilots? Well they need to navigate round a course specific to the location of the world it is taking place. They have posts they need to navigate round or through in a specific way such as flying through a gate at a 'knife edge', and performing a slalom of gates.

Yes, it is that simple...except for when you consider the fact that you need to know how to fly an aircraft, cope with G force and navigate the ever-changing courses!

The best thing is, anyone with an appropriate flying license can take part. Saying that, you would need to be a good pilot and able to withold pulling high G withing GLOCing (Gravity-induced Loss Of Conciousness).

I am sure you are all aware of the Red Bull Air Race. If you aren't, you should hang your head in shame and step off a cliff. This air race is known internationally and is truly epic.

The world's best pilots coming together to complete a challenging course pulling massive G forces, straining every part of your body. Nations competing against nations, sometimes it becoming a personal thing to not lose to another Pilot, also fueled by ego.

It is something I would like to try out myself, if I became a successful fast-jet pilot though. I notice one of the British pilots that fly in the Red Bull Air Race is actually a commercial airline pilot. I would love to fly with him one day!

But what is missing from the Red Bull Air Race? The crashes, the very near misses, the gasping from the crowd as a near-disaster is only just avoided. These pilots don't run on blood when taking part, their blood is taken over by adrenaline.

Being a huge fan of the Red Bull Air Race, I watch it like a religion. I have only ever seen a few near misses. I want explosions as people crash, I want pilots ejecting at the last second, or pilots shouting "I will crash and burn along with my aircraft!" and plummetting into the ground.

It isn't a nice image, nor is it something nice to think about, as being a flyer myself, having a problem in mid-air leaves you completely isolated. Your heart beats faster, adrenaline pumps around your body, but your training takes over and you can just think of what could happen in a matter of seconds...and it really is over in a few seconds if you don't act quickly enough.

Anyway, it is an epic sport which can be enjoyed by everyone. It brings so many emotions together. It gives you ups, it gives you downs. It makes you smile with awe, and gasp with sheer fright.

You can only respect these guys...they are truly sportsmen and as a result, I salute them.

Lack of sleep

This will no doubt be a worthless post, so read on and bear with me, it'll never be this bad again...

All this nonsense in the news about lack of sleep causing you health problems and making you ill is fine to read about, but is it all really true?

I have tried it out so that I could report the things that have happened as I do think that some of the problems that are supposedly caused by a lack of sleep is farfetched and quite extreme. You could even say the theories are pumped full of steroids if you wanted to.

Since Thursday I have decided to starve my body of the minimum recommended sleep each night. It is recommended to sleep for 8 hours or more to keep healthy and not develop health problems due to lack of sleep and as a result of this I made sure each night, I had 3 hours sleep.

At first it was completely fine, I got up on the Friday morning bright and early to begin the day. Tiredness was present to begin with but after a few hours, and a good breakfast, it soon disappeared and allowed me to enjoy the day.

As the weekend arrived, I only had 2 hours to sleep on the Friday night due to having a lot of fun with colleagues at RAF Cosford. I woke up and got into my flying suit on the Saturday morning and felt groggy and fatigued but I fought on and didn't let the tiredness affect my work.

Skipping the boring bits, i.e. Sunday morning and afternoon, I sat up and waited for my parent's flight to land at Birmingham Airport. They were due in at 0025hrs. It turns out that at 0000hrs the website refreshed itself for me and the flight was now expected at 0052hrs. It was time for coffee.

I struggled to stay awake, and the flight gradually got held back that little bit more and finally landed at 0138hrs, much to my luck as I was worried about paying £7 for 45minutes in the carpark, so I wanted to just pay the £2 for 30minutes. Yes, I know, it is a rip off!

I got home at 0300hrs and went to bed. I obviously lay there waiting to go to sleep for a bit though. As I lay there, I realised it was a school night and in a few hours, it was the beginning of the 2nd half of the term.

Now, I understand this is a boring post to read but I simply do not care at this moment in time. I am on my 9th cup of coffee already in the 3 hours I have been home and I am still yawning away and achey and tired.

General recommendations are to sleep your 8 hours a night. I agree. I hope the theory that people who are lacking their sleep develop harder arteries and have a greater risk of heart disease is wrong because I have a lot to live for.

I got up this morning feeling slightly ill and my ears were completely blocked up and still will not clear. My fitness has declined a bit too as I managed 38 pressups before wanting a break on thursday where as today I managed 15. Quite a difference isn't it?

I think I should have a good night's sleep tonight.

L-earner drivers

Your 17th birthday is one of those really important birthday's you have during your lifetime. It is the year the UK Government gives you the right to learn how to drive, own a car with your own insurance and go driving freely with a Full UK License (or an automatic one).

Now, there are good and bad instructors around the country who make it their job to train you as a good, safe and responsible defensive driver and on today's roads, you can see why it is more of a responsibility than a career as a driver for any of us.

The ruling around licenses is quite silly I think. You can apply for a provisional license in the UK and you can keep it until the day you hit 80, or something around that age. It also allows you to take and retake as many Theory and Practical tests as you wish. If you fail one, you just keep resitting until you pass.

However, I view this as a dangerous allowance. Provisional licenses should only be valid for a period of 2 years maximum and they should limit the number of retakes you can have on either test.

Expanding on this idea, I think that after you go over a limit for retakes, or you take 2 years or more learning to drive, you are deemed a dangerous road user and should be banned from driving for 5 years. In that 5 years, you are expected to revise for a theory test, sit the test and if you pass, you have the ban lifted and you can continue driving before your 5 year ban is up.

None of this "go on, you'll be fine" nonsense where you can go and not worry about passing or failing because you have an infinite amount of chances. Money is however, a worry.

I can think of a great deal of items that this wasted money could be spent on. Mobile phones, Televisions, Clothing, Music from iTunes (as I am all for legal downloads of course), Digital Cameras and also some fitness equipment to keep yourself healthy.

If you are really bad at driving and struggle to pass the first hurdle, the Theory Test, then I think you should give up and spend your money elsewhere, rather than throwing your money down the drain, or giving it to shape-changing Jews.

For those who have passed their driving tests and are fully qualified drivers, be it in the UK or elsewhere then I wish you every success in your driving career and I hope you don't crash and burn.

A Rule of War

I have found myself to be quite simply, the battlefield guru. Not only am I joining the UK Armed Forces, specifically the RAF, but my cousin is serving in the Army and my Uncle once served in that same force.

It goes without saying, that I have military blood, as well as flying blood, inside of me.

As I am sure a good number of you will know, there are specific rules in war. One set is called the Rules of Engagement and if you are the UN Peacekeeping Forces, they have one rule which reads "If you are shot at, stand your ground, don't open fire, and die."

I am perfectly happy with Rules of Engagement anyway, well, the ones set by the Ministry of Defense of course. The focus of this blog wasn't on those rules, but on another set of rules that every country has to follow. Show your thanks to the UN for this by blowing up their headquarters for all of our sakes.

I was watching one of my favourite programmes on television last night about doctors and nurses who work in Afghanistan with the British Army and the Royal Air Force. I was pleased to hear that our country is the only country out there that operates a Medical Emergency Rescue Team (MERT). This means, we are the only country that flies doctors and nurses TO the patient, rather than flying the patient to the medical professionals.

As the programme reached the end, the cameraman was on the MERT Chinook helicopter and I was incredibly angry to see that because of the UN's stupid nation-hugging bullcrap, they had to treat a Taleban fighter.

They blindfolded him and carried him onto the helicopter, to take him to the main operating base in Afghanistan to treat him for his injuries. It disgusts me to see that our troops spend their tour getting shot at, killed, or injured by these scumbags yet we have to treat them otherwise the UN cries and jumps on our backs about Human Rights. Cue shitty pointless charities to come and protest for the cause.

If I had my way, which obviously I don't, I would say that they should get the Taleban insurgent onboard the helicopter, take off to a good altitude, then throw him out of the back.

It is better than treating him, and sending him back to fight once more and probably kill one of our troops.

We should scrap that part of the Geneva Convention.

Valentines Day

I am no cupid, but I can certainly set people up with one another and have done so. As you should all be aware, Valentines Day is fast approaching now and well, I couldn't care less to be fair.

It is quite an exclusive day really isn't it? If you are with someone, you can express your love for one another in a generous number of ways. But if you are single, then you can send an anonymous admiring card to someone you care for...

...quite the look of the stalker don't you think? Or maybe the opportunist rapist?

I don't want to dampen anything but I do not care about Valentines Day as I have no-one to express my love to. I am single, surprisingly, and I do not intend to stoop to a level of strangeness by sending a secret card.

What is the true reaction of the people Anon gives a card to? Well its a simple reaction that I will now express to you all. "Who could it be? Why its that freak over there who is smiling strangely in the corner of this very room. She would then get scared and call the police.

It is quite a good topic to focus on nevertheless. If you have the time, or can be bothered at the slightest then comment this post and we can debate. I will win, unless of course it is a debate with a colleague over at Potential Difference.

If you are taken, and enjoying it a lot then I truly hope you have a good day and enjoy it the best you can. If you are single however, then keep a smile on, but avoid the cards. Anonymous cards to someone you like is like you are an internet child predator.

By the way, if you have a cabbage brain, or are less useful than a turd on a plate then Valentines Day is 14th February. If you are taken, make sure you get the other half something!

The Big Freeze

Now, for anyone who is completely oblivious to the world around them turning white, you should realise that we have all been well and truly snowed in.

I am getting to the point where I am starting to hate snow. Looking outside my window - everything is covered in a healthy 4-5 inch layer of the stuff.

It has caused mass disruption to the UK as councils and just people overall cannot cope with the sheer volume that has fallen. I know in my city, Coventry, the council has run out of gritting salt, all the schools except 2 (crazy) are closed, and every bus service has been cancelled.

I suppose that means that businesses will be closed too? According to the news, with just London shutting down on monday due to the heavy snow, that alone cost our economy over £1 billion.

Being in a recession, I do not need to really make it clear that it was £1 billion we could have used on something more important than wasting it because people couldn't be bothered to make the effort of getting into work.

I was watching GMTV, like I always do during the week before driving to school. A man in London had braved the weather, and the deep snow, to travel to work on his bike. Yes, his bike. The determination of that man should have influenced everyone. But I can imagine that everyone except me were thinking "gosh, this guy is a lunatic!".

I am sorry, but you all cannot talk. Yes, have a day off, but don't completely destroy the economy in the process. Its quite selfish I think.

Either way, enjoy the snow!

Balance in an unstable world

Is it possible to stablise the relations between every group, nation and terrorist cell in the world? Well maybe not the terrorist cells but its worth a try.

Recent news stories have hit the headlines of North Korea testing their long-range missiles. It is reported that these missiles are capable of reaching the US and I can imagine that there will be a secret conference being held in the Pentagon right now which is looking at every possible problem it could cause for them.

Now, I apologise in advance if I am wrong but I had thought that the US and North Korea were enjoying a slightly better relationship. The two nations were both talking at least.

It appears now that this bettered connection will now be destroyed and drawing up plans for peace will have to unfortunately go back to the drawing board once again.

Why can't we just all shake hands over a cup of tea and agree to our differences, in order for us all to live in peace? I guess the answer to that is each country's influence on the rest of the world, and maybe ego too.

How about sending an army of superheroes, me, and Horatio Caine over to every poorly led country in the world? Its a good idea, but I do see an immediate flaw to this quite amazing idea.

Every country in africa except Kenya, North Korea, Russia and China to name a few are countries which I consider to be poorly led. Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe. Why hasn't someone shot that old, pathetic, power crazy, woman-beating zimbabwean leader?