The Importance of 2009

As you now hopefully know, it is 2009. The exceptions to this are if you are a Hippy (then it is 1809) or Goth which would mean it is 666 BC as the two stereotypes are filled with people who are anti-social failures at life.

What does 2009 have to offer us anyway? Perhaps it will be the year when the Global Economy restarts again, like my laptop unexpectedly did last night when I wanted to go to bed. Or maybe it'll be the year when every government in the world realises we are all quite simply, in the shit.

Either way, I always think that New Years Eve ends with the worlds BIGGEST anti-climax. Everyone in London for example, standing around counting down the seconds until the new year..."5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year", and then proceeding to watch a firework show which can only be explained as a waste of money. This is especially true because of the fact that the current global economy is on a life support machine, or should I correct myself and state there is no global economy left?

The fireworks explode in the sky and I am sat at my television screen wondering what crazy man with a beard and a bad odour dreamt up this display? It was ok to immediately rule out Einstein, as he is currently dead. No shit sherlock - have a dog biscuit or something.

Then at the end of the display, what does everyone do now? Apart from the occasional sigh, they all think of how much of a good night it is.

I am sorry to ruin it for everyone, but it is 2009. Not 2012 when the Olympics comes to London, or 2010 for that matter, to celebrate the new decade as they are definately worth celebrating.

I struggle to understand why a large proportion of the global population all thought it would be a good idea to celebrate possibly one of the most pointless years on the "The Beginning to the End of the Universe Calendar". Everyone should have been at home for the start of 2009, not celebrating, but realising how difficult it is going to be in order for pretty much the world to lift themselves out of the crisis we are in...

...well all except for Zimbabwe - they seem to like being in a crisis so much that they kick off at pretty much anything they see, hear or do. They live a crisis that is kept alive by Robert Mugabe. Now that is a man I hate.

Anyway, back onto the subject of 2009. As asked, and slightly answered before, what will 2009 bring? Fuck all is what it will bring. The year means nothing except for the fact that 2008 is over. Is that all we are celebrating?

No, of course not. We seemed this year to be celebrating the fact that businesses are all closing, governments are losing money, and people are generally getting poorer (except for Mr. Tesco and Mr. Sainsbury's).

I can honestly see this year bringing nothing but another shipment or so of Coffee from the Kenco place in Kenya. On top of that, I can see many more ships get hijacked by the Sudanese pirates; and al-Qaeda launching an attack on Israel for defending their country from Hamas - something which I am a supporter of. It will most certainly not be the year that religion is proved wrong, unfortunately.

In my opinion, 2009 is going to be a pointless year which will not give us anything. I doubt it will be the year that we completely lift out of an economic crisis because it is not something we can jump out of. It will also not be the year where the answer to terrorism is found and actioned.

Basically, I recommend hibernating for the entire year and waking up on 31st December 2009 in order to celebrate the end of this pointless year, and to also celebrate the beginning of a new decade.